Dad's Christmas

Before you read this, you should probably read 'Dad's Diagnosis' for a full understanding of what’s going on.

In a word, stressful. Christmas always is, and there’s no real way to avoid that stress because you have to be with the ones you love and, as much as you love them, they bring you stress, perhaps because you love them.

Since the Summer, Dad has deteriorated further. In the Spring he was still getting up, making it to his bed upstairs most nights and driving in a modified car. Now he can’t stand up, we have a car that a motorized wheelchair can fit in the back of, and he can’t lift his hands over his head. I didn’t enjoy typing that. A lot has happened since I last wrote about Dad, good and bad, but a lot of the good does become tinged with sadness. But that particular feeling is becoming normal.

A highlight for us all involved Dad’s one true love, Hibernian FC, he assures me he loves us all equally but I think the Hibs would win. A lifelong fan and former player, Dad raised me and my sister, along with Mum as Hibees, taking us to games and teaching us that being a Hibs fan involves a lot of trials, the occasional heartbreak and moments of pure joy. If you cut him, he would bleed green, the emerald blood would pool on the floor and spell out the words “Scottish Cup Winners 2016”

I sent an email out, in not expectation that I would hear anything back from the people at Hibs, telling them about dad and explaining his situation. I didn’t know what I was asking for, but I just wanted to ask. A few weeks passed and I received a phone call from an unknown number while at work, I answered; ‘Hello is this Chris?’ Yes, I said. ‘It’s Leeann from Hibs here, how are you doing?’ Before I could even think I blurted out the question; ‘Leeann Leeann!?’ A moment that my family will never let me forget.

After many kind words she invited us as a family to come to a game, as her guests as well as getting the club historian to dig up anything he could on Dad’s time with Hibs. To say he was pleased, I think would be an understatement. This team is his passion, has been all his life and recognition, a nod from them, for him was a great thing. The day came, October 26th, Ross County at home. We were treated so well and so kindly by everyone we met, I was quite emotional the entire day but I don’t think shedding a tear at a Ross County game is the done thing.

On top of it all, Dad got to meet one of his heroes, Pat Stanton. I would like to say that was a prearranged meeting, but he just happened to be at the game and dad clocked him. I went over and nervously asked if I could introduce him to Dad and he couldn't have been more obliging, he took the time and they spoke for what felt like ages, that meant the world to all of us. Dad had a whisky and enjoyed his surroundings, he only has whisky on special occasions.

Mum is very house-proud and when we were growing up it was common to be handed a hoover or a duster to clean with on a regular basis, something I didn’t enjoy at the time but a habit that has seen me and my sister well. So when the prospect of having the house turned upside down came up, that was worrying. I was particularly upset by this, I know Mum was too.

After a time, Dad could no longer get up the stairs so had to sleep on the couch. We had had many nights struggling up the stairs, just trying to get him into his own bed as many times as possible before the stairs were a complete write off, a lot of pulling and lifting paired with just sitting on the landing to get his strength back before trying to get to his feet and the occasional fall.

There’s now a bed in the living room where the big sofa was and admittedly it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It's less clinical than we feared and Mum has somehow made it look and feel homely. Something only my mum could do.

A Christmas at home normally involves Mum’s dinner, seeing family and presents. Every now and again our relatives from Canada. My uncle David (Dad’s brother) went and fell in love and moved to Canada some years back. We’re always happy to have them but with Dad and dinner and guests, we decided to have dinner out this year, at a local place nearby, four courses and a bar. What more could you want? Well good wheelchair access and a large accessible toilet, both of which were also included. Along with a bauble with the family name on it, a nice touch that we’ve kept and I think we’ll keep for a long time.

In all honesty, I was scared of Christmas, because it’s such a happy time and those who are sad can have those feelings amplified. I know dad cries, I think we all cry about it from time to time and I just wanted Christmas to be nice. Not the best ever or super amazing, just nice and comfortable with family, food and gifts. Thankfully, it was. I even managed to enjoy it. Something I wasn’t sure I would, the whole family seemed to have a good time and Dad, adamant that he didn’t want gifts, got plenty of gifts.

Like the last time I wrote something down about home, I don’t know when or if I’ll do it again. But thank you for reading. Please do the following, watch this documentary about Doddie Weir, I can’t quite bring myself to watch it yet but Mum and Dad have and they assure me it’s worth a watch.

Doddie Weir: One More Try

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000c2c6